HELP THOSE WHO WANT TO HELP THEMSELVES FIRST; ALL OTHERS GET A MINIMAL LEVEL OF SHELTER / SERVICES!
By Max R. Weller
Wet Brain Dave a.k.a. World’s Laziest Man
Today marks eleven days since this chronic alcoholic arrived at this facility, which is not at all prepared to deal with his physical and mental health issues.
As I sit in the hallway outside the door to our room, I can plainly overhear his side of phone conversations with friends and/or family members. He assures them he’s making great progress.
This morning, he remains in bed as he has nearly all day and all night since Boulder Community Hospital discharged him to this nursing home, supposedly for twenty days of physical therapy intended to restore his ability to walk and do simple tasks like going to the toilet on his own and feeding himself.
Bear in mind that most drunks are Master Manipulators, and Wet Brain Dave is no different. He has cleverly learned how to play off physical therapy against taking a shower, and vice versa. When it’s time for one, he tells staff to come back later because he has to do the other at that moment; in fact, he winds up doing neither. It’s been eight days since his funky body was touched by hot water and soap, and I don’t think he’s had more than one very brief therapy session (in which he took maybe twenty steps down the hall with a walker). Medicaid or Medicare (he’s 67 years of age) is paying Big Bucks for this fraud. And as my friend Amos used to say, “Smells like a bull’s ass!”
Unfortunately for me, it’s too cold in mid-November to leave a window open for fresh air, especially overnight. (My previous experience sleeping outdoors in wintertime notwithstanding.) Last night, since he’s unable to walk the short distance to the toilet, the CNA on duty had him crap into his diaper while he was lying in bed. The smell was so bad that I did open my window for about a minute; had he complained, I might have punched him in the nose.
Right now, he’s on the phone telling someone (who probably knows he’s lying) that he’s not getting the help he needs. Really, is staff at Hungry Haven supposed to use force? The help is available; the World’s Laziest Man just won’t accept it and do his part.
I hope he does move on to another place soon, and maybe back to his three-bedroom home in south Boulder after the trash haulers have filled up a (40-yard?) dumpster with empty beer bottles and microwave food containers. It’s likely that pest exterminators will need to be called, also. Years of living in filth, no doubt.
Despite Wet Brain Dave’s ability to talk nonstop, about himself naturally, I haven’t heard anything that makes sense yet.