Category Archives: Boulder Community Hospital

Roommate update from Hungry Haven 11/18/2018


By Max R. Weller

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Wet Brain Dave a.k.a. World’s Laziest Man

Today marks eleven days since this chronic alcoholic arrived at this facility, which is not at all prepared to deal with his physical and mental health issues.

As I sit in the hallway outside the door to our room, I can plainly overhear his side of phone conversations with friends and/or family members. He assures them he’s making great progress.

This morning, he remains in bed as he has nearly all day and all night since Boulder Community Hospital discharged him to this nursing home, supposedly for twenty days of physical therapy intended to restore his ability to walk and do simple tasks like going to the toilet on his own and feeding himself.

Bear in mind that most drunks are Master Manipulators, and Wet Brain Dave is no different. He has cleverly learned how to play off physical therapy against taking a shower, and vice versa. When it’s time for one, he tells staff to come back later because he has to do the other at that moment; in fact, he winds up doing neither. It’s been eight days since his funky body was touched by hot water and soap, and I don’t think he’s had more than one very brief therapy session (in which he took maybe twenty steps down the hall with a walker). Medicaid or Medicare (he’s 67 years of age) is paying Big Bucks for this fraud. And as my friend Amos used to say, “Smells like a bull’s ass!”

Unfortunately for me, it’s too cold in mid-November to leave a window open for fresh air, especially overnight. (My previous experience sleeping outdoors in wintertime notwithstanding.) Last night, since he’s unable to walk the short distance to the toilet, the CNA on duty had him crap into his diaper while he was lying in bed. The smell was so bad that I did open my window for about a minute; had he complained, I might have punched him in the nose.

Right now, he’s on the phone telling someone (who probably knows he’s lying) that he’s not getting the help he needs. Really, is staff at Hungry Haven supposed to use force? The help is available; the World’s Laziest Man just won’t accept it and do his part.

I hope he does move on to another place soon, and maybe back to his three-bedroom home in south Boulder after the trash haulers have filled up a (40-yard?) dumpster with empty beer bottles and microwave food containers. It’s likely that pest exterminators will need to be called, also. Years of living in filth, no doubt.

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Despite Wet Brain Dave’s ability to talk nonstop, about himself naturally, I haven’t heard anything that makes sense yet.


Wet Brain Dave update 11/17/2018:

The guy belongs in a serious alcohol rehab facility until such time that his crippling gout, delirium tremens, and general lassitude can be treated effectively. He needs to gain about 40 pounds, too — but his favorite food is lettuce salad and his favorite drink is orange juice.

He’s such a MESS that I almost feel sorry for him . . .


I hope he’ll soon be gone, his twenty days approved by Medicaid over:

I’m also absolutely disgusted by these roommates who are afraid of the dark, and want a bright light left on all night. WTF?


World’s Laziest Man 2018 update:

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NOT my fist, but I wish it were.

Addendum: It’s now 12:30PM and Wet Brain Dave just got off the phone with a trash-hauling company . . . He hired them to go to his home in south Boulder with a dumpster and clean out all of the beer bottles, microwave food containers, etc. I’m guessing it could be a real hoard accumulated over the course of several years. I think he ought to look into Housing First at 1175 Lee Hill, which caters to many chronic alcoholic BUMS, now that he’s about to become homeless himself. (Probably lots of rats and cockroaches there at his abandoned residence, too.)

BTW, one of the CNAs just told me that my very first roommate here at Hungry Haven, the guy who crawled into bed with me for no reason I ever figured out, passed away recently. I believe I’ll be able to handle my grief . . .


Hungry Haven is not equipped to handle anyone with severe alcohol withdrawal

Even an ignorant layman like the Homeless Philosopher realizes that this requires hospitalization, and I’m wondering why Boulder Community Hospital discharged Wet Brain Dave to a nursing home for 20 days of physical therapy (which he shows no interest in, anyway).

The wound care doctor came by this morning to examine his gout, which is far worse than I imagined it could get, even though I suffered it myself on and off for years.

BOTTOM LINE: This poor devil will never be able to live by himself in his three-bedroom home back in Boulder, CO. He’s headed for the streets or an emergency shelter (if he can get into one), unless his family members decide they can tolerate his crazy behavior and take him in . . .

In March, 2017 an unknown member of BSH staff stole $350 cash from my “secure” locker inside this facility.


Hungry Haven update 11/9/2018


By Max R. Weller

Yesterday’s tweet:

Now, I know enough to render judgment: Wet Brain Dave is a 67-year-old alcoholic from Boulder, referred to this facility by Boulder community Hospital; he suffers from severe gout and had a fall about a week ago, but neither broken bones nor head injury resulted. (All of this I overheard when the staff physician here talked to him in our room, as I was sitting out in the hall.) He has a large home he’s been living in by himself, family members who actually care about his welfare (they visited yesterday for well over an hour and are helping him with his affairs), and is financially in good enough shape that Medicaid is only going to pay for 20 days of physical rehab here at Hungry Haven.

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NOT actually my roommate, but a fair likeness of him.

However, this guy is every bit as crazy as Jabba the Hutt and Speedy the Pisser, my two previous roommates. Wet Brain Dave hasn’t gotten out of bed since his arrival Wednesday night, he moans and groans around the clock (but refuses pain relievers stronger than Tylenol), is apparently afraid of the dark and wants a bright light left on overnight (like his two predecessors), and last night he listened to infomercials streaming on his [dumbass]phone so I couldn’t sleep worth a darn. He also asks the CNAs, who are far too polite in my opinion, to cut up his meat at mealtime and unwrap the chocolate bars his family brought (but he doesn’t offer to share the goodies with staff). I prefer not to think about what he asks these young ladies to do when he summons them for help with peeing in his urinal.

I suffered from gout for years back in the ’90s, and I can attest to the fact that it causes intense pain in the affected joints (it wasn’t until I went on a daily regimen of the prescription drug allopurinol  that my gout finally cleared up; I haven’t needed that drug for many years). But, unlike WBD, I never wanted to lie in bed feeling sorry for myself in addition to being in pain, and I always got up and went about my business as best I could.

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Gout is most common in the ball joint of your great toe, but I also had attacks in my left elbow and left shoulder (which caused some permanent damage).

This lazy bum isn’t going to work with therapists here, won’t improve significantly, and will be discharged in 20 days to become a real burden on his family (and probably resume heavy drinking).

Luckily, there’s an empty room at the end of my hall here in Hungry Haven, and I’ll probably sneak in there to sleep in peace tonight. It’s only 20 days of torture with this latest guy, but wouldn’t you think I deserve a break from Looney Tune roommates at this point?

Addendum: After I’d finished what I wrote above, a pair of physical therapists did come to the room and take Wet Brain Dave away in a wheelchair. Not sure what they did with him or where they went, but he’s back in the room now and smells as if he never got a shower over at Boulder Community Hospital. A week’s worth of festering body odor!

‘A few suggestions for Boulder leaders’

Read the letter-to-the-editor of the Daily Camera here.

Copied below in its entirety:

Boulder and her leadership have always had an irritating and condescending superior “attitude.” City leaders and council members lead the big-thinking elitists who have cultivated a well-earned reputation for “progressive” ideas and actions. Included in the “braintrust” are some of the left-leaning and intellectual elites from the university community.

Being so bright and forward-leaning, you would expect these “big” thinkers to easily glimpse solutions to local problems.

So how about Boulder’s homeless problem that seems to defy solution?

Visited any of our public libraries or parks lately? The solution seems obvious. Our parks and libraries have already been allowed to become havens and gathering sanctuaries for Boulder’s ever-growing homeless population. Why not add rooms, meals, activities? Free needles would make them more accommodating and cost effective.

Ever wondered if City Council members ever invite a homeless vagrant to their home for a shower, clothes washing and a hot meal? Dream on. They are quick, however, to make our taxpayers’ public resources and facilities ever-expanding homeless sanctuaries.

How about them prairie dogs that are so protected and adored? You can bet if a prairie rat started a family in the city manager’s or City Council member’s yard, the chemical eradication teams would be out and applying toxic controls in a New York minute.

A challenge to you city leaders — show leadership and take a vagrant homeless person to your home for conversation, clean up and nice meal or maybe adopt a prairie dog family to start a colony in your yard.

For the intellectuals up there in the towers of learning at CU, why not start a unique university program for the homeless offering free tuition and living assistance (room and board) for those who apply? That seems a Bernie Sanders idea of university caliber.

Charles Robinson



Well, I’ve long advocated for those who are able to do so (on a short-term basis in wintertime, at least) to adopt a bum.

And I also believe that the Sociology Department at CU would benefit greatly by inviting the Homeless Philosopher to appear as a guest lecturer on homelessness. Under no circumstances, however, should CU offer a platform for the self-styled homeless advocates in Boulder, CO — men and women who are shameless shills for the corrupt homeless shelter / services industry. They haven’t a clue about the subject.