Monthly Archives: November 2017

I’m NOT a happy (homeless) camper this morning


By Max R. Weller

Yesterday afternoon around 2PM, I arrived back in my north Boulder neighborhood to find no fewer than 5 scurvy-looking BUMS partying on the wall in the 4900 block of N. Broadway; the only one of ’em I knew was the Central Park Stabber, who went to prison for a short time after being convicted of attacking another homeless man with a knife:

David Hall (Boulder County Sheriff’s Office)

The other 4 miscreants were strangers to me, but they appeared as if they came from LA’s Skid Row . . . To top it off, Drunk Brian was panhandling on the corner of U.S. 36, and I have little doubt he’s the one who invited all of these BUMS to ruin the otherwise peaceful ambience of this area. It’s what DB has done over the years, recruiting the worst-behaved drunkards and dope fiends he can find to keep him company — call it “birds of a feather flock together.” Perhaps I should refer to him as George W. Hayduke, the fictional character in novels by Abbey, because that’s what he called himself online rather than step up like a man and use his REAL identity.

I just walked right on by this bunch, and read a book at my nearby campsite instead of playing the role of Humble Beggar. So much for yesterday.

This morning I was waiting outside of Boulder Shelter for the Homeless before it opened at 6AM, as is my habit of many years, for my morning shower and hot water to make my own instant coffee. I observed one of the residents (a transient from Alabama) being put out by staff, apparently because of some altercation with another resident who spoke with police officers when they arrived. One officer took a statement from the latter man, while the other officer drove away to look for the guy who had been told to leave.

While this bit of drama was wrapping up, a zTrip taxi pulled up to the curb where RTD buses pick up and unload passengers, and a developmentally-disabled BSH resident stumbled out of the back seat, eventually falling down. I could smell the alcohol from 15′ away. The man, who had gone to the hospital at some point overnight, wasn’t wearing either socks or shoes. He tried to engage me in conversation, thinking that he was still at the hospital and I was a nurse. He asked me to get him a cup of coffee! I told the pickled idjit, “If I had a cup of coffee now, I’d drink it myself.” Surprisingly, a staff member let this fool into the facility at 6, ahead of several other homeless people in line.

This should answer your questions about how the new and highly-touted Coordinated Entry system is working out . . . So far, anyway, it’s the same old sorry crap as always. The bad behavior inside the zoo always spills out into the surrounding neighborhood, and NEVER have I seen anyone on shelter staff deal with their wayward clients off premises; I’m the one who picks up the empty beer cans and vodka bottles, and challenges the bums’ disrespectful attitudes to everybody else.

Really, people, if you’ve donated cash, goods, or your time as a volunteer to Boulder Shelter for the Homeless you should reconsider and find a truly worthy charity to support.

(This post e-mailed to Boulder City Council.)

My happy life as the poorest person in Boulder County, CO


By Max R. Weller

I had a pleasant Thanksgiving Day, and this was mostly due to generous passersby at the corner of N. Broadway & U.S. 36 and some neighbors from the north Boulder area. Yes, there were a couple of homeless knuckleheads I had to set straight, but it wasn’t a big deal to do so. (I look at the drunks and druggies and realize how great it is to be clean and sober!)

The other keys to my happiness are being apart from the noise, strife, and confusion of modern life and the fellowship of the wild critters I’ve come to know. (No, I’m not thrilled by the prairie dogs, but they haven’t been intruding on my space lately.) Frequently, one or more of the cottontail rabbits will lead the way as I depart my campsite in the early morning, bound for a hot shower at nearby Boulder Shelter for [BUMS]. 

Typically, I then ride the SKIP bus down to the King Soopers on Table Mesa to purchase the day’s provisions. While I prefer to keep a cache of food at my camp, I enjoy the daily shopping trips as a means of maintaining contact with NORMAL human beings.

The most interesting part of my life is working on my blog at either Boulder Public Library or Norlin Library on the CU campus, for a few hours in the middle of almost every day, and as time goes on it seems that more and more folks recognize me and offer some encouraging words for my humble efforts. They come from all walks of life here in Boulder and, indeed, from around the globe via the Internet. The amount of positive feedback I receive simply overwhelms the occasional vicious rants from the BUMS I hold accountable at every opportunity.

The BUMS are the ones who are holding out their grubby paws for all of the taxpayer-funded benefits and free giveaways from private nonprofits — NONE of which I want. (The exception is Medicaid, which I signed up for as I was flat on my back in the ER too weak to even sit up; a nice lady brought the paperwork to me and handed me a pen to sign it. I’d rather be healthy enough to do without it!) Food stamps — NO. Housing subsidy in a homeless ghetto project — NO. Monthly disability payments — NO. Free food — NO. Free clothing — NO. Discounted bus fare — NO. The thing of it is that I’m happier than those who get all of this and more; there is very little dignity in their dependency on others.

Me? I’m happy to accept the help of folks who are choosing to give it out of the goodness of their hearts, not because they’re being taxed to an onerous degree nor laboring under the misapprehension that the poor and homeless can be “reformed.” I’ve never felt belittled in my present circumstances, and my outlook is brighter now than in the past, but most of those accepting the homeless shelter / services industry’s help and supervision are not doing a happy dance about it. Quite the contrary — they’re TRAPPED, and have little hope of breaking free.

My arthritic hip has been worse than usual the past few days, but I’m getting around despite that thanks to ibuprofen and a high threshold for pain developed through experience. Beats the alternative of one homeless alcoholic of my acquaintance, who is lying around at his spot drunk both night and day because somebody beat the crap out of him. More than likely, he deserved it . . .


‘Homeless invasion coming your way?’

Read the disturbing letter-to-the-editor of the Daily Camera here. Copied below in its entirety:

Last week, my wife and a girlfriend had to run out of our home and call the police after finding a homeless man living in our basement. He had been there for days. Think about that for a moment. While I was out of town on business, a man had been sleeping in our basement as my wife and children slept. He had raided our refrigerator, stolen my shoes, and was relieving himself in containers. To say this situation is unacceptable is the understatement of the century and I blame it firmly on the city of Boulder and it’s “build it and they will come” attitude toward the homeless.

We have lived in Boulder for 25 years and have always taken pride in the safety of our community. However, we’ve watched in dismay as Boulder’s homeless services have outstripped the needs of Boulder’s actual homeless population. This means that most of the homeless on our streets aren’t from Boulder and the man who could have harmed my family was no different — he was from California with four prior burglary charges. Why was he here? He, like many of our homeless, was attracted by the expansion of “second to none” services that our City Council has rubber-stamped.

So, at what point will you experience your own Boulder homeless home invasion? Will you or a loved one be injured or worse? At what point will Boulderites stand up and say “enough”? While I support helping local people who are down on their luck, we are allowing our leaders to create a dangerous city by offering services that attract troubled transients. Since the police told us that this is becoming more common, you may want to check your basement now.

Chris Centeno



Boulder Rights Watch founder, Darren O’Connor

No, this isn’t an actual quote from the chief apologist / enabler for the worst-behaved BUMS who drift to Boulder, CO from all over the country — but it might be, given this character’s twisted thinking . . .

For emphasis, let me repeat the most salient point in Chris Centeno’s letter:

“. . . we’ve watched in dismay as Boulder’s homeless services have outstripped the needs of Boulder’s actual homeless population. This means that most of the homeless on our streets aren’t from Boulder and the man who could have harmed my family was no different — he was from California with four prior burglary charges.”

Of course, if this BUM had been discovered squatting in the basement of any one of our Boulder City Council members, steps would immediately be taken to move ALL OF ‘EM on out of town. It seems to the Homeless Philosopher that our elected officials are like ostriches when it comes to the issue of homelessness:


(E-mailed to Boulder City Council.)