Transient advisory: New rules at Boulder Shelter for the Homeless*

DEMAND ACCOUNTABILITY; STOP ENABLING BAD BEHAVIOR!

By Max R. Weller

Boulder Shelter for the Homeless at 4869 N. Broadway in Boulder, CO opens its men’s and women’s emergency overnight dorms tonight, October 1st, with intake from 5PM until 7.

New rules include:

All those who can show valid photo ID with a Boulder County address will be allowed to participate in the lottery for available beds for FREE; all others must pay a $5 fee to draw a number. Nobody is guaranteed a bed.

Registered sex offenders will not be accepted as overnight guests. NO EXCEPTIONS.

All backpacks, bags, and luggage of any kind will be inspected during intake for prohibited items such as weapons, tools, alcohol, non-prescription drugs, etc. All those caught with prohibited items during inspection will be turned away from BSH for the night; if caught with prohibited items inside the facility, the result will be permanent expulsion.

Everyone who gets a bed will be assigned a chore to help keep the facility clean and in good order; failure to complete the assigned chore will result in a one-week ban from entering BSH for the first offense. A second offense will carry a 30-day ban. The third offense will result in permanent expulsion from BSH.

Profane language and/or disrespect of any kind towards other guests or staff will result in a one-week ban from BSH. Progressive penalties, as listed above, will be applied for further offenses.

There will be NO FREE BUS to and from 4869 N. Broadway. However, overnight guests are strongly encouraged to leave the neighborhood during the day. Bad behavior in the neighborhood will be treated as disrespect, with the same progressive consequences listed above. Staff will be “out and about” during the day to ensure that homeless guests are on their best behavior in the immediate vicinity of BSH.

The First Step and Transition Programs will be phased out through attrition; no new clients will be accepted.

Due to the infestation of Giant Mutant Bedbugs in this facility, a bounty of $1 will be paid to any guest for each bloodsucker killed and turned in to staff.

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Actual size

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*Of course, these “new rules” are simply wishful thinking on my part . . . As for the Homeless Philosopher, I’ll continue sleeping outdoors or with friends in their homes under special circumstances.

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One thought on “Transient advisory: New rules at Boulder Shelter for the Homeless*

  1. Renee

    I was really getting happy about these new rules until I grew suspicious and scrolled down to read that they were wishful thinking on your part. If only the Boulder shelter would follow these sane practices, as other shelters do.

    Reply

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