DONATING TO A NONPROFIT IS NOT THE SAME AS HELPING THE HOMELESS!
By Max R. Weller
“Mississippi Billy” and a couple of his drunken pals showed up in my neighborhood, around the corner of N. Broadway & U.S. 36, on Saturday and have been there since. Drinking, urinating in public, yelling, rasslin’ with each other (or maybe having sex, I didn’t want to look too closely), leaving discarded food and empty bottles and even items of clothing lying around, harassing passersby as they try to panhandle, passing out drunk, etc. Mississippi told me that Boulder PD had run homeless people away from the “horseshoe” area on Boulder Creek Path near Boulder High School, but it’s only the worst-behaved bums who get evicted from anywhere. I was driven to get a piece of cardboard and leave this sign on the wall where I sit and read:
GO BACK TO DENVER
I also made it clear to these pickled idjits that I don’t want them sitting next to me, making me look guilty by association. I said something to the effect that I’m trying to be a part of the neighborhood that people like. They’ve moved about 50′ away, back towards the businesses which operate in that small commercial district in the 4900 block of N. Broadway. I know that some of you who are business owners and workers there read my blog; please feel free to call the Boulder County Sheriff’s Office at (303) 441-3600 and report these bums. I don’t own a cell phone, otherwise I’d make that call myself.
These are exactly the sort of chronic alcoholics whose names belong on a NO SALE list kept by bars and liquor stores, if and when Boulder, CO ever gets smart enough to adopt this policy.
The newbies on staff at Boulder Shelter for the Homeless are not yet up to speed. Without going into the particulars, it seems to have fallen to the Homeless Philosopher to set them straight. Maybe I should send Greg Harms, the executive director, a bill for my services.
Just to balance yesterday’s negative review of “The Catcher in the Rye” — here is its polar opposite in terms of literary worth: “To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee on Goodreads. You know, if I should ever return to the old hometown, I think I’d become a character sitting in front of the old courthouse, taking an occasional swig from a bottle concealed inside a brown paper bag — and never letting on that it’s a bottle of Coke, not booze.
Leave it to some youngster to discover the truth:
Hmmm . . . Terzah, does this pic remind you of anyone?
Here’s an inexpensive do-it-yourself alternative to the tiny camper featured in yesterday’s blog post for $6,500: How to Build a Teardrop Trailer . . . $500 sounds much more reasonable!
That’s all for now, folks.