Where do they all come from?

By Max R. Weller

It seems to me that there are more transients in Boulder, CO this summer than I’ve ever seen before, and I’ve lived in the same north Boulder neighborhood continuously since early 2008.

The last two mornings, there have been twenty or more homeless people waiting on the sidewalk outside of Boulder Shelter for the Homeless (more than half are new faces to me), which opens at 6AM for showers, breakfast, etc. I can remember when there were only a few of us.

Yesterday, there was a steady stream of homeless people wanting to “fly a sign” on the corner of N. Broadway & U.S. 36, and except for Jeff they were all idiots wasting their time. I’ll repeat: I don’t mind sharing the corner with panhandlers who can actually pick up a few dollars in a reasonable amount of time — but the clowns like Denver King who want to loiter there for several hours and make only $5 or so need to move on. Especially irritating to me is Mr. “I hate this f***ing country” who holds up a photo of his two kids (whom he never sees, because he has abused their mother) to generate sympathy; in the past, he’s claimed to need $$$ to get them a motel room on the weekend when they visit, but all I see him doing is spending his meager disposable income on marijuana. The fool can’t remember that I don’t smoke the shit, and he keeps asking me if I have a rolling paper or a pipe he might use. Of course, he always claims to have made $50 or more from generous passersby — but he needs to borrow a rolling paper? Yeah, right. I hate this f***ing liar.

Then there are the Transition Program bums who wander over from BSH . . . I think these clowns are transitioning to the circus, because none of ’em seem to have a clue about the Real World, and they keep on recycling through this 9-month program year after year.

Worst of all are the fake homeless youth, who are role-playing in re homelessness. Two days ago, three of ’em pushed a shopping cart full of their gear up near where I sit and read during the day in the 4900 block of N. Broadway. One of these clueless delinquents came over to me and asked about a place to camp out, since BSH closed its emergency overnight dorms in mid-April and they won’t be open again until mid-October. I told her, “Unless you want to get arrested for trespassing, this is NOT the place to be.” They left, but not before dumping a lot of trash onto the sidewalk in front of a business there and abandoning their shopping cart, too. Worthless punks!

Here’s the Poster Boy for fake homeless youth, a guy who tried to rip off the Red Cross and FEMA after the flood last September:

Kicked out of his parents’ home for drinking and drugging; could return home if he chooses to get clean and sober 

On the bright side, a lady and her young daughter, who live in the neighborhood, brought me a bag of useful items yesterday afternoon, including a spiny seashell. A most thoughtful gesture, a gift of something from the ocean, and I’ll keep this interesting specimen in my locker as a morale booster:

Tonight at my campsite: leftover burritos from BSH.

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